Additional 4 - pieces of writing

 

An Opportunity

Lily and Sarah were best friends. In fact, they were the best of friends in the whole wide world. However, because of some ‘boy trouble’ their friendship fell apart. No, shattered. It was all because of that one boy, Buckler Sterling, who had shattered their friendship. One year ago, when Lily and Sarah were twelve-years-old, a new transfer student was welcomed into their class. His name was Buckler Sterling. When she saw him, Sarah immediately had a crush on him. It was like love at first sight.

Unlike Sarah, Lily hated him. She was utterly disgusted by him. There was no attraction at all. She hated the way he looked, walked, acted, and did everything. She hated every single part of his being. Unfortunately, Buckler liked Lily instead of Sarah. It was no secret. Every single day in class, Buckler would spend hours staring at Lily. Sarah always thought that he was staring at her as she was seated next to Lily. Sarah knew of the “rumors” that Buckler liked Lily. She refused to believe they were true. Once the “rumors” were confirmed by Buckler himself, Sarah’s heart shattered. She refused to talk to Lily, no matter what. Their whole friendship shattered too. Their daily conversations? Gone. Their weekly playdates? Gone. Lily tried to fix their friendship, but it was all hopeless. Sarah did not budge at all. Lily tried to grasp even a single opportunity to be best friends with Sarah again. However, nothing worked. Their friendship had gone cold like Antarctica level freezing cold. Over the year, Lily stopped trying to find an opportunity to mend their friendship. So, they just drifted apart.

Until one years later on a cold and rainy Monday afternoon. It was the end of the school day. Lily made her way to the school’s front gate to walk back home. She was her usual gloomy self, trudging every step of the way out of school. She hated school. Especially because she was alone everyday and school lessons had sucked the life out of her. Also because it was a Monday. She removed her umbrella from the side pocket of her bag as it started to rain heavily. She then opened her umbrella and started her journey back home.

Just then, she spotted a familiar figure. It was Sarah! She happily ran towards Sarah then abruptly stopped. They were not friends anymore, were they? Then, she realized that Sarah was standing under a small shelter to avoid the rain. Where was her umbrella? Did she forget it? “Ding!” A bell rung in Lily’s head. This was an opportunity to become best friends with Sarah again! However, she was in a dilemma. Was their friendship too far from saving? Or could it still be saved? She had to make a decision fast. First, she mustered all the courage she had and walked up to Sarah. Then, she asked her the question.

“Hello Sarah! I saw you were standing here without an umbrella. If you do not have one, we can share this one!” Lily said nervously while pointing to her umbrella.

There was a brief awkward silence but, Sarah nodded. Mission success! The walk was slow but, the both of them decided to initiate some small talk.

“Lily, I just want to say that… I love you! You are my best friend and always will be! I did not know what I was thinking last time, breaking off our friendship just because of that dumb Buckler! I hate him now. I absolutely hate him. I was thinking, could we be friends again?” Sarah had let out what she wanted to say to Lily for years.

Lily burst out crying happy tears. She knew the opportunity that she had grasped would work out this time. All because of that one opportunity, they had mended their friendship. She dropped the umbrella and tightly hugged Sarah. Although they were not as close as last time, Lily was happy that they were friends again.

After they reconciled, everything went back to normal. They had daily conversations and, they had weekly ‘study dates’. This was all thanks to an opportunity Lily had grasped. “The opportunities are endless. As long as you put the opportunities to good use, you will succeed.” Just like this quote, Lily succeeded.

https://www.write-edge.com/model-composition-a-difficult-decision-by-hannah-lee-primary-5/

https://www.write-edge.com/model-composition-an-argument-by-adele-ong-primary-5/

https://www.write-edge.com/model-composition-a-time-someone-encouraged-you-by-andre-isa-primary-6/

https://www.write-edge.com/model-composition-a-disrespectful-act-by-ignatius-koh-primary-5/

Sequencing Steps

Sequencing refers to the order in which events happened. Sequencing is often made easier by the use of transition words. Following are some of the most common words and expressions used to sequence when writing or speaking.

Beginning your story

Create the beginning of your story with these expressions. Use a comma after the introductory phrase.

• First of all,
• To start off with,
• Initially,
• To begin with,

Examples of these beginning phrases in use include:

• To begin with, I began my education in London.
• First of all, I opened the cupboard.
• To start off with, we decided our destination was New York.
• Initially, I thought it was a bad idea.

Continuing the story

You can continue the story with the following expressions, or use a time clause beginning with "as soon as" or "after." When using a time clause, use the past simple after the time expression, such as:

• Then,
• After that,
• Next,
• As soon as / When + full clause,
• ...but then
• Immediately,

Examples of using these continuing phrases in a story include:

• Then, I started to get worried.
• After that, we knew that there would be no problem!
• Next, we decided on our strategy.
• As soon as we arrived, we unpacked our bags.
• We were sure everything was ready, but then we discovered some unexpected problems.
• Immediately, I telephoned my friend Tom.

Interruptions and Adding New Elements to the Story

You can use the following expressions to add suspense to your story:

• Suddenly,
• Unexpectedly,

Examples of using these interrupting phrases or turning to a new element include:

• Suddenly, a child burst into the room with a note for Ms. Smith.
• Unexpectedly, the people in the room didn't agree with the mayor.

Ending the Story

Mark the end of your story with these introductory phrases:

• Finally,
• In the end,
• Eventually,

Examples of using these ending words in a story include:

• Finally, I flew to London for my meeting with Jack.
• In the end, he decided to postpone the project.
• Eventually, we became tired and returned home.

When you tell stories, you will also need to give reasons for actions. Review tips on linking your ideas and providing reasons for your actions to help you understand how to do so.

Events Occurring at the Same Time

The use of "while" and "as" introduce a dependent clause and require an independent clause to complete your sentence. "During" is used with a noun, noun phrase, or noun clause and does not require a subject and object. The construction for this kind of sentence is:

• While / As + subject + verb + dependent clause or independent clause + while / as + subject + verb

An example of using "while" in a sentence is:

• While I was giving the presentation, a member of the audience asked an interesting question.
• Jennifer told her story as I prepared dinner.

The construction for using "during" in a sentence is:

• During + noun (noun clause)

Examples of using "during" in a sentence include:

• During the meeting, Jack came over and asked me a few questions.
• We explored a number of approaches during the presentation. 

Some words and phrases help to develop ideas and relate them to one another. These kinds of words and phrases are often called discourse markers. Note that most of these discourse markers are formal and used when speaking in a formal context or when presenting complicated information in writing.

with regard to / regarding / as regards / as far as ……… is concerned / as for

These expressions focus attention on what follows in the sentence. This is done by announcing the subject in advance. These expressions are often used to indicate a change of subject during conversations. 

His grades in science subjects are excellent. As regards humanities …
With regard to the latest market figures we can see that ...
Regarding our efforts to improve the local economy, we have made ...
As far as I am concerned, we should continue to develop our resources.
As for John's thoughts, let's take a look at this report he sent me.

on the other hand / while / whereas

These expressions give expression to two ideas which contrast but do not contradict each other. 'While' and 'whereas' can be used as subordinating conjunctions to introduce contrasting information. 'On the other hand' should be used as an introductory phrase of a new sentence connecting information.

Football is popular in England, while in Australia they prefer cricket.
We've been steadily improving our customer service center. On the other hand, our shipping department needs to be redesigned.
Jack thinks we're ready to begin whereas Tom things we still need to wait.

however / nonetheless / nevertheless

All these words are used to begin a new sentence which contrasts two ideas. These words are often used to show the something is true despite not being a good idea. 

Smoking is proved to be dangerous to the health. Nonetheless, 40% of the population smokes.
Our teacher promised to take us on a field trip. However, he changed his mind last week.
Peter was warned not to invest all of his savings in the stock market. Nevertheless, he invested and lost everything.

moreover / furthermore / in addition

We use these expressions to add information to what has been said. The usage of these words is much more elegant than just making a list or using the conjunction 'and'.

His problems with his parents are extremely frustrating. Moreover, there seems to be no easy solution to them.
I assured him that I would come to his presentation. Furthermore, I also invited a number of important representatives from the local chamber of commerce.
Our energy bills have been increasing steadily. In addition to these costs, our telephone costs have doubled over the past six months.

therefore / as a result / consequently

These expressions show that the second statement follows logically from the first statement.

He reduced the amount of time studying for his final exams. As a result, his marks were rather low.
We've lost over 3,000 customers over the past six months. Consequently, we have been forced to cut back our advertising budget.
The government has drastically reduced its spending. Therefore, a number of programs have been canceled.